Someone’s Gotta Say It
Drunk Sex or Sexual Assault?
Challenging Perceptions: The Drunk Sex Defense Reconsidered
By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia
How often have you said or heard “It’s 5:00 somewhere” as a signal to relax from work or studies? From moonshine, wine and beer to the latest spiked seltzers, alcohol has been a social lubricant for many millennia. But its effects on decision-making and behavior are far-reaching and complex.
It Has a Name: Alcohol Myopia
Alcohol myopia – a state where the drinker’s mental and emotional focus narrows. Alcohol decreases the number of social and environmental cues the drinker can focus on; it enhances their focus on immediate gratification and impulsive decision making. The combination of impaired judgment and lower inhibitions can lead to risky behaviors.
Alcohol affects several areas of brain function:
- reduces activity in the frontal lobe, which governs attention, motivation, and learning.
- reduces effectiveness of the pre-frontal cortex, which moderates behavior and aggression.
- triggers the brain’s reward centers and increases feelings of euphoria.
- enters the amygdala and makes the drinker less likely to feel threatened or afraid.
- enters the cerebellum, which governs coordination and balance. That is why drunk people often stagger and stumble.
Alcohol myopia explains why someone under the influence may overlook the cues of rejection from another person. It’s like wearing blinders, where only the immediate experience matters, and everything else (including the other person’s wishes) fades into the background. Or the cues they do receive trigger an aggressive response.
To be clear: alcohol DOES NOT CAUSE sexual assault. Most people under the influence of alcohol are not aggressive and DO NOT assault other people.
Consider three common harms by intoxicated people:
Drunk Driving
According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, 37 people in the US die in drunk driving crashes each day. In 2021, 13,384 people died in alcohol-impaired driving traffic deaths – a 14% increase from 2020. Society rightfully condemns this behavior, recognizing the immense danger posed to oneself and others. No one asks for it.
Fighting While Drunk
Alcohol consumption is associated with aggressive behavior, consistent with lower inhibitions and impulsivity. Now, picture a heated altercation erupting between two guys at a bar, both under the influence of alcohol. Despite their impaired judgment, society does not hesitate to assign blame and hold them accountable for their violent behavior.
Sexually Assaulting while Drunk
When a drunk person sexually assaults – whether groping, fondling or worse – the responsibility narrative shifts. The assaulter’s behavior is neutralized by victim-blaming and excuses such as questioning consent and their responsibility, with the perpetrator often escaping consequences under the guise of “drunk sex.” “She was drunk, too.”….“She’s just embarrassed”….minimizing the harm to neutralize accountability. “He made a mistake. One error in judgment shouldn’t cost him his future.”
It must be asked: Why do we hold drunk individuals accountable for some actions but excuse them in another?
Confronting Double Standards
While some harms, like robbery, are readily condemned, others are met with doubt or denial.
If a man is mugged on the street and robbed of his watch and wallet, would he be asked:
- Why were you wearing expensive clothes or a flashy watch?
- Why were you out late?
- How much had you had to drink?
- Haven’t you been generous with needy people on the street before?
- Did you say “no”? The suspect said you consented and gave him the watch and wallet without a struggle.
No, because in cases of robbery, the focus is rightfully on the perpetrator, not the victim.
It must be asked: Why in cases of sexual assault do we immediately shift to questioning the victim’s behavior?
Consider the “drunk sex defense,” where intoxication is an excuse in cases of sexual assault.
In too many cases, she reports that he raped her and he says she consented. All too often, survivors are subjected to scrutiny and blame while his behaviors are neutralized by deflecting and raising doubts about her.
Even though false reports of rape are among the lowest of all crimes (2-8% based on several rigorous studies), many investigations end after a preliminary interview with the victim and suspect. Without an offender-focused investigation, what he said she said is believed more than her own words. It’s no wonder that reports to law enforcement have declined in recent years to just 21% of all rapes.
Who is Aggressive when Drunk?
Predictors of who sexually assaults while inebriated include hypermasculinity, impersonal sex orientation (preference for sexual satisfaction without emotional connection or relational bonding), antisocial behavior, and low self-control. Males with unhealthy attitudes regarding sexual violence are much more likely to perpetrate sexual assault, have higher rates of alcohol use, and are much more likely to experience long-term alcohol-related problems. Alcohol is weaponized for physical and sexual aggression.
To make our community safer for everyone, each of us must confront our biases and cognitive dissonance surrounding the varied perceptions of drunk driving and sexual assault while under the influence. Until there are real consequences for all interpersonal violence, the aggressors have no incentive to change their behavior. Let’s confront these disparities and insist on a more equitable and just approach to addressing sexual violence.
When I was in graduate school, I regularly heard my peers talk about their dreams of owning a private counseling practice, working in a school system with students, or working on a behavioral health unit of a hospital. I do not recall anyone talking about opportunities to work as a therapist/counselor at a Child Advocacy Center.